Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
