Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
