What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
