On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
tell me about the fingering
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