Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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