yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Randomize
