Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Randomize