my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Randomize
