wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
