There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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