Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize
