it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
My vagina is officially offended.
You are the jesus of drinking
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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