...so i touched it.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
