The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
