Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize