I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
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