also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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