I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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