After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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