mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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