I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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