Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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