Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Drake has all the answers
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize