Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
This show inspires me to have sex in space
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
