just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Randomize
