You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize