SEEEEXXX PLEASE
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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