This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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