If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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