Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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