Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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