Sponge bath it is.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
