I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
You're a waste of cheezeits
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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