I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
