Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
