she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
