Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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