i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
