Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
