he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
whose parrot is this?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
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