New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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