I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Randomize
