I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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