What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
