i need an iv and a liver transplant
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
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