if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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