It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Sorry about my life...
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
