omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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