I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize