it wasn't lemon gatorade
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
