she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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