i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
