never play flip cup with pint glasses
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
