One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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