I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
