Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
zippers are such a cool invention
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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