there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
