He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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