I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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